yet

do you ever get that hollow empty feeling down to the core of your heart, yet you don't really know why?

do you ever feel like your heart aches so bad that you want to cry so hard, yet there's something strangely stopping you?

do you ever get that nudging thought that constantly tells you that you should count your blessings instead of your downfalls, yet here you are longing for the larger things in life?

do you ever feel like your mind is running crazy over so many things, yet when you try to think properly on what's bothering you, you don't actually know which one matters the most?

do you ever want to cry so bad wishing there's someone here for you, yet you can't bring yourself to tears because this ongoing cycle tires you out so much?

do you ever miss so many people so much, that the magnitude of that feeling itself just drives you insane, yet you feel like people are just not missing you as much?

do you ever feel like you're working so hard, yet you're not really sure why and who are you actually doing it for?

you know you should be really happy, yet you know are not. you are running crazy because there are so many things you know that kills you inside, yet you don't actually know why it is. you know it isn't supposed to be this toxic, yet it feels so torturous to your soul. all you know is your heart hurts like mad, and you don't know how to stop.

maybe all I really want, all I truly want, is someone who can make me feel like I am special because of what I am, rather than me searching every corner and aspect of my life to fill up my blank identity. because I am so tired, so exhausted of looking into every little things that makes me. maybe all I really need is someone who is just willing to listen to me, to make me feel like I matter and there's something more that defines my presence rather than my presence alone.

maybe, yet maybe not. i don't even know anymore. every emotions weighs out my heart so bad, i feel like my soul is gonna burst.