Muffled Screams

Just close your eyes,

The sun is going down,

You'll be alright,

No one can hurt you now,

Come morning light, 

You & I'll be safe and sound.

She knows where she going, at least she thought, she knew. Now she's lost all over again.


-


3 weeks of school already feels like crap. It's a bumpy road already, when some days I'm enjoying it, yet mostly, I asked myself what the hell am I doing here. It doesn't help that they are undoubtedly having their time of their life, overlooking the my crushed fortitude. It hurts because I'm almost forgotten already. It pains me, because now I am their odd puzzle, as if I never fit in before. These unleashing true colors are just too agonizing to watch much less to feel.


Most of the time, I just want to hold my ground and stay Here. Here is where I think I belong. Yet it isn't so easy. I wish people could understand. Could you see? I'm There. I don't belong There. But will I belong Here? What if time after time, my thoughts snap back again? I'm lost here. I keep wondering where I am I suppose to stand. The fun raging on behind me keeps tiding my spirits down. How can I look forward, when forward isn't even where I want to be. This petty little odd mid-dimension is killing me inside.


As ages passed, it seems like people are starting to understand me less and less. I find myself grasping my own little feelings alone, struggling to hold my strength as much as possible. Where is the felicity that I prayed for?


I guess it is time to keep my heads up. There's no reason for this to happen to me or maybe there is. I don't know. Someday I'll find my place. Someday, I hope I'll stand here and feel like a little girl being in her pink castle of candies with myriads of fantasies laying upon her eyes. Just some day. 


Something amazing will come out of this, someday. 


I guess I just got to wait.