Did I do it right this time? Because why do I keep letting myself slip away?

Was I doing it correctly today? Because why is it that I keep losing my cool. And losing, so many other things that I cannot seem to put a finger on it.

I am flawed, I know that. But today, it just felt like a whole new level. That my flaws were somehow exaggerated today. Like I've been so blind in the past. As if it is boundless today. Limitless.

Perhaps today was just ill-fated. Because today everything just fell into the wrong places. Everything just felt, not right. Everything was frustratingly flawed. Insecurities were engulfing me today. And I do not know why.

Why is it that I act before I think and then end up regretting it after that? 

I used to think I had no temper. That I was patient. But today, I lost it. Because I was so tired of how ridiculous people can be. I was tremendously tired of people ordering me around and occasionally angry at myself for not standing up for my own rights. In fact, I still am tired. Obeying people who takes my feeling for granted, putting up with bad days, and putting up a smile and only realizing after that, that it was fake. I'm so exhausted, and disappointed that people are constantly there to bring me down. I'm so exhausted because at so many moments, it feels like it's me against the world.

I beg of the clock to stop ticking. Not just for a moment, for I beg more than just a moment.